Letting go...

of control...it is hard for me. ahhhhh....breathe. Every day I am more and more amazed at what Jovie is learning and imitating. It's actually kinda scary- she is getting so independent and that is giving me mixed emotions. I am starting to understand why parents make such a big deal out of their kids growing up...it's sad...the feelings of not being needed is hard for me. I LOVE feeling needed. I'm sure we all do to some extent. Maybe it's just today...I don't know. I just love being with her- seeing her smile and giggle...and see the look of accomplishment on her face when she walks across the entire length of the house without falling!

I've never had a problem with getting messy...I just have a hard time when Jovie gets messy. I don't know why. Maybe I just don't like the cleanup part...like it's one extra step. But lately, I'm really just trying to let go of my incessant need for total order and let Jovie just BE A KID! Jovie loves the outdoors (honestly, would that be so strange as she is my child!) and she is finally starting to like sand, dirt and grass (she hasn't liked the feeling of it on her hands from an early age- like 6 months old). Trips to the park are paying off! Well, especially now that she is completely walking- that only took 17 months!! Sheesh. So now she loves digging out in the "yard" (if you could really call a 5'x20' plot of rocks, yard) and playing in the dirt from the garden and planter boxes. I love watching her.

She is so amazed at what she can do with her hands. It's funny. It's funny even when she gets dirt in her hair, on her clothes, and when it sticks to her face.

This would NOT have been funny to me a few months ago. And no, it's not laziness that is plaguing me. I just want her to experience everything that I grew up doing and usually loving. It's only fair. And it's all because I love her.

Busy days... and yet...

Wow...it's February already and I just barely feel like Christmas ended...maybe that's a good thing- I'm not sure yet. Since the beginning of 2010 I've been doing a lot of thinking...which tends to be interrupted thoughts...led to confusion...led to "did I already tell you this?" whenever I have conversations with anyone...and now I'm just feeling like my memory is failing me. Why? Why do I have to go through my days like this? Isn't there some kind of pill I can take? Well, regardless- I'm sorry to those of you who call me your friend and have to hear my constant brainlessness (Is that even a word? See what I mean?)

Anyways...on Dec 31 we decided to spontaneously get an iMac as my laptop was dying a slow death...a virus...H1N1, I think. Regardless, I am doing my very best to rid myself of my PC knowing ways and get used to being utterly confused...and then enlightened. Blake thought it would be a good idea to sign me up for 1-to-1 appointments at the Apple store- since I tend to listen better when someone is speaking to me-myself-and I (split personality, maybe). The biggest headache (that I've been just trying to convince myself isn't that big of a deal) is organizing my previously organized pictures from Windows. I'm not talking about 1000-2000 pics...I'm talking a DAUNTING task...about 26,000 pictures- which, when I put that number down on the screen makes my blood run cold. Ugh. I'm suffocating...Needless to say, picture (re-)organizing has taken the bulk of any free time I've had for the last month.

Jovie has resorted to playing in the newly organized pantry. (Thanks Sar...I NEVER would have gotten it done without your help! We miss you around these parts!) In Jovie's defense- why WOULDN'T you want to wreak havoc on something that is organized and beautiful?

In other news...ya know, I graduated last May with my degree in Education...yet, I was too overwhelmed to get all of the necessary paperwork together to bring to the dept of Ed to get my Teaching Certificate. One of my resolutions this year was to get my butt in gear and finish some things that were left undone. Hence- I spent an afternoon researching online (with little accomplished) then called the DoE to just verify all that I needed to get it done...and with luck I talked with a gal that was AMAZING- all I had to do was send in 3 documents and the rest was history. Two weeks later I had my CERT in hand!! Yippee!!

Another resolution was to get all of my pictures transferred from negative (yes, that's film people- it sounds so ancient!) to disc. I took in 40 rolls of film to Costco last week- and this next week I will probably bring another 50-60 in. Hopefully, this means I can share some great pics from a 35mm (hopefully you are sensing my sarcasm), however they are wonderful memories! P.S.- Costco charges $2.99/40 pictures that they combine and put on a DVD. This is THE best deal I've found- plus they even duplicated all pictures from high quality to email size as well. It is kind of a pain when sorting them, but it allows you to NOT have to shrink pics later if you are going to email them!