What was I so worried about??

So earlier this month I had my appt with the fertility dr to find out I needed surgery. Between then and now I've had a few mini melt downs, but overall I have felt good about having this surgery done. Today I had my laproscopy (polyposcopy) surgery. Basically just had a laproscope go up into the uterus and locate the polyp (much like a skin tag, but on the inside of the body) and then they snip it off. No biggie. The worst part...getting the I.V. The staff and nurses at Canyon Springs Surgery Center were fabulous- and the nurse who did the I.V. was spot on. I just wish I could get through that without the feeling of passing out. I even have them lay me back and I still get all pale and cold sweats. Rough. Pretty sure I gave Blake THE most pathetic look in my arsenal of faces!!

But I loved when I had the anesthesia...the lovely anesthesiologist called it "liquid courage"...I like that thought. I've had many surgeries in my life and have never had issues with having anesthesia (luckily) so this was just another walk in the park. I was in and out of the hospital in 2 hours so I was one happy camper. Thankfully Blake's mom watched Jovie in the morning and we were home by noon. I was a bit groggy still from the anesthesia plus lack of sleep (since it took FOREVER to fall asleep last night- what can I expect...night owl + nerves) so both Jovie and I took naps. So needed! Then at 5:30 (on the nose) my lovely neighbors brought us a FABULOUS dinner. I feel so blessed. And I'm just a teensy bit sore...that's it. I feel like this day couldn't have gone any better. 

I am already feeling like my plate is emptying...surgery- check. Stake choir performance- finished (and OH was it fabulous- if I do say so myself). Started on family Christmas shopping- check. Ward Christmas music- picked. Ward Christmas party music- still working on it...but close.  

I'll go ahead and say it...What was I so worried about?? 

Elf on the shelf...

This is a cute new tradition we'll be starting in our home this year...Elf on the Shelf. Blake's mom found it and ordered one for all of her kids. I'm so happy to start something fun! So the idea is that Santa sends an elf to the family and it watches the kids and reports to Santa every night if the kids were naughty or nice.  So the elf has magic to report back to Santa but hides in a new spot every night so the kids get to play hide and seek when they wake up in the morning. And the only rule is you can't touch it- or it will lose its magic. Jovie's not quite understanding it all, but I'm sure through the next year or two it'll really take off!!

It's fun because you get a book to read to your kiddos, then get to name your elf and also get an adoption certificate. So cute. Well, of course since we got Jovie's name from the girl character in the movie Elf, we decided it would only be fitting to name our elf Buddy, after the boy elf character in the movie. 

And here is the elf hiding on the advent calendar I made last year.  I didn't actually finish it by December 1st last year, but it was done in time for Christmas. And now this year and years to come I get to enjoy it...as does Buddy, our elf.

I'm pretty sure Buddy's magic will also transfer into some of the goodies getting baked this season too!!

I'm sure Buddy will find some great hiding spots in the next few weeks to come! What are your Christmas traditions?? We have too many to list.

This year...

Boy oh boy....this year really has been a tough one for me (health-wise). In January I had my first miscarriage, and then in April I had an Ectopic pregnancy (needing emergency surgery). Since then, I've been taking progesterone and trying to get pregnant, but with no luck. I feel like emotionally, I have felt really strong this entire year...up to now. I think all of the stress of church callings, Jovie getting "older" and just life in general has finally got me to a really unstable point for me emotionally. There has been a LOT of sporadic tears shed this week. Yuck, it is just gross. Well, really what set it off was my trip yesterday to my fertility doctor. I had to have the HSG test (where they inject ink into the fallopian tubes- in my case just my left one since I had to have my right one removed from the ectopic pregnancy) to see if the tube was clear- and it was! Yay.

But when I had to have the Sonohysterogram (saltwater injected into uterus and then vaginal ultrasound done) the doctor found a polyp attached to the top of the uterus. He predicted that this was why I may have miscarried in January. I guess this particular spot is where the fertilized egg tries to implant on the wall of the uterus- but if a polyp is in the way- you miscarry. So he said my chances of miscarrying in the future are extremely high unless I get it removed.

So, now I have to have ANOTHER surgery done. Ugh. Seriously. This has GOT to be the WORST possible time to have surgery. I know, I know...there is NEVER a convenient time for surgery, but this is HORRIBLE timing....

Just to spew off what's happening in my life currently-


I am the Ward Choir Director and am still in the process of choosing music for the church Christmas program- and it's in 6 WEEKS!!!


I am also a Sunday School teacher and Activity Day leader where I've got lessons to prep for every other week. (Luckily my teaching partner is helping me by teaching every week in November. Jenni is truly a saint!!)


I am directing choir practice for the ward Christmas program every Sunday for 45 minutes. 


I am singing in the Stake Christmas Program being done on the Sunday after Thanksgiving and have 2 hour practices every Sunday until the program. 


I just got called to put music together for a neighborhood Christmas Party being put on by our church...and also head a service project (toy drive) at the party. This will be on December 10. Luckily I got a committee of women to help get this project going!


Then I leave for Colorado for Christmas with all of my family on December 22 and don't return home until January 4... 


I am trying to keep Jovie happy and moving to limit the tantrums...that all seems to be going down the tubes. I think she skipped the terrible 2's and went right to 3's.


And then somewhere in between all of this I have to have surgery. Sheesh.

Is this a lot?? Maybe not compared to many other people...or who have 3+ kids...but to me, I am feeling close to topped out. It's sort of disappointing. In the past I have always felt like I can do it. Somehow I am feeling defeated. I know that at this point I really need to just focus my energy on the positive of now actually getting ANSWERS for why I haven't been able to get pregnant- and move forward. Rely on the Lord, because with Him I WILL get through this. And I will look back on this later and go, "what exactly was I so worried about? "

As a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, this verse of scripture kept popping out at me...

Articles of Faith 1:13

13 We believe in being honest, true, chaste, benevolent, virtuous, and in doing good to all men; indeed, we may say that we follow the admonition of Paul—We believe all things, we hope all things, we have endured many things, and hope to be able to endure all things. If there is anything virtuous, lovely, or of good report or praiseworthy, we seek after these things.

Yes, I hope to endure ALL things.