Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Bittersweet...

This has truly been one of those days. Joyous and sad all at once.

For the past few years Blake's Aunt Connie has struggled with breast cancer. She was released this morning from her mortal body and was able to reunite with her parents in heaven. She was a magnificent woman. So much strength, positivity, happiness, and Christ-like love for others. She will truly be missed here on this earth. She was always so kind and welcomed me into the family with open arms. Many tears have been shed on her behalf, but we know that we will see her again and be reunited for eternity!

In other news, Blake's sister Chelsea was married today to Rajiv Patel in the Mesa Arizona LDS Temple. It was a beautiful ceremony. As you can imagine, emotions were running high today (I'm pretty sure I went through at least one mini pack of tissue and dirtied a sleeve or two of my own). I loved how the sealer spoke of the 4 C's- commitment, communication, care and covenants. We are so thrilled for the both of them and know that they have found each other for a reason. We couldn't be happier! We are excited to spend Thanksgiving with the whole family and celebrate at their reception on Saturday!

Not that you care, or are even interested...but I got my period today- on top of everything else going on. Why say this at all- you ask? Millions of women around the world are dealing with this today too. Well, this just means one more thing to me ...that I'm not pregnant. You may or may not know that we've been 'trying' for the last 8 months to no avail. This isn't super surprising as it took us 3 years to get pregnant with Jovie. I am absolutely positive that the Lord knows all things and that it comes in due time. But it also doesn't mean I can't be frustrated or sad when things we hope for (especially children) don't come when WE think it's time. I'm sure that stress has something to do with it as well...but honestly I know I just need to lean on the Savior's shoulder through this trial. I will get through this. I will have more children (eventually). I will cry...lots. But I will continue to have faith in my Heavenly Father that he knows ALL things, and the right timing for them. Jovie came at the PERFECT time. I know that now. I'm sure He knew that moving at the beginning of December, grieving through an Aunt's passing, celebrating the wedding of my sister-in-law, Thanksgiving, and vacationing with my family to California for 5 days the first week of December was all too much on top of being pregnant. I should probably just be grateful. I am. I have SO much to be grateful for.

Breathe, just breathe. This (month) too shall pass.

6 comments:

onehm said...

WHAT A DAY!!
I'm sorry for the pain you are feeling over not getting pregnant. I know that feeling too...one good thing about it is the overwhelming gratitude I have felt when each one of our children joined our family. I think we appreciate them more because they were so very difficult to get here. HUGS from someone who understands what you are going through.

Karen Nihipali Wicke said...

Your family is in my prayers. Hang in there.

The Wizzle said...

Wow, that is a seriously full emotional plate there, lady. Sending you a big huge hug. I'm sorry for your loss, happy for your happiness, and I unfortunately know how it feels to want a baby and not be able to have one. No feeling I know is worse.

Ryan said...

Mandy, I love reading your posts. You are so real and your testimony is strong. I love that about you. The last paragraph gave me the goosebumps, thee entire time. Sending love! What a day/(time) for you.

Marci McLain said...

I am sorry to hear about your loss. We are so sad you are moving. It just means you have to update your blog all the time so we can keep in touch!

Kev and Ash said...

November 23rd was a very bitter sweet day. Thank you for posting your sentiments. I am sorry to hear that it has been rough getting pregnant. I know all too well what you are going through. I agree with you that Heavenly Father knows us better than we know ourselves. Thank you for sharing your feelings! Love ya!