Saturday, August 11, 2012

Artificial Insemination (IUI) round 3...

Well, this time I've been hopeful. I figured it was a good sign to be traveling to my birth place (Petoskey, MI) right when I'd find out if I was pregnant or not. After being on vacation for a few days I had to go to the lab near the hospital to have my blood drawn. (On a side note, this is the 2nd month in a row I've had them draw my blood while sitting up- as opposed to laying down!! That's HUGE progress for me and my queasy stomach!)

Well- the office called that afternoon and gave me the news...PREGNANT!!! BUT, my hcg levels were only at a 32 (again pointing out that its safe to be between 50-100 at 4 weeks). So they had me come in again 2 days later- Friday August 3rd (same day Blake flew from Detroit to San Diego to go to his cousin Trevor Briggs' wedding). Well, I wasn't able to go in to the lab until late afternoon and unfortunately the lab in Michigan wasn't able to fax the results to my Dr in AZ before closing time- so we had to wait ALL WEEKEND to get the results. Talk about stressful. Well, by Monday the Dr called and said that my Friday results we're good- my hcg doubled to a 65, so everything was on track for a good pregnancy! Plus I was feeling SUPER nauseated all weekend so that was good in my eyes!

But they wanted to monitor me until my hcg levels were at 1500 so I had to go in Tuesday to do another blood test. I was feeling prettying good at this point especially since this was my 3rd time in the lab sitting up in the chair--- without passing out!! YESSSSSSSSSSS! I got the call late that afternoon. My hcg levels dropped to a 5. So... another miscarriage. Week 5.

It's crazy how elated you can be in one moment one day... and a total wreck the next.

I think it's time to move on from the medical procedures and just focus on other methods. Not sure exactly, but fostering has really started to burn into me lately. And of course I have always considered adopting, since the day my very own sister gave her baby up for adoption 14 years ago. I was blessed to be living with her through her whole pregnancy, and I truly believe that babies are divinely placed with the family they should be with...for eternity!

I guess when one chapter ends... another one begins.

12 comments:

Tiffany said...

Sorry to hear that Mandy. But, it looks like you were at a fun, beautiful place to help out during the news. I hope things work out at the right time, no matter your decision. Im so glad you have your miracle, Jovie. Thinking of you!

Katie Taylor said...

xoxo

Carrie said...

I'm so sorry to hear about this Mandy. What an ordeal to go through. I do have to agree with the last part you said about adoption. I was so blessed to live with you and your sister when she was going through pregnancy and adoption, and I will say that it definitely is a memory and a feeling that I will always remember!
I love you Mandy, and I know that God has something special in store for you no matter how he goes about getting it to you!
You're in my prayers!

Aimee's Family Journal said...

I love you with all my heart. I always hear people talk about the "lesson" that there is to be learned for things that we struggle with in life. And I am still not at the point that I think there is a lesson to be learned from pregnancy trials. It is just freaking heartbreaking. And you shouldn't have to hurt and ride a roller coaster of emotions for weeks, wondering if you will get the blessings that it takes others minutes to receive. Why do we have to go through this??

I hope that some day I will understand. And in the mean time, we will just love you, and keep you busy with movie nights to keep it from hurting too much. And if it helps at all. I would have given my right foot to have the chance to be a foster child in your family! You will be a wonderful Momma to any child that gets to be in your arms.

Ezra, Kian & Eden said...

Can I just say that you are an amazing lady?! I know your heart is breaking and hurting and yet you have such a positive outlook. You are a super mom/wife/friend and such a tremendous example to me! Hugs to you.

{alisse t} said...

Love you, Mandy.
Your high spirits and positive outlook are such an inspiration to me.
Jovie is so super lucky to have you, as will every child be that comes into your home.
Xoxo. <3

Susan said...

So sorry to hear this, Mandy. I can't even imagine what a long road it's been for you and your family.

Adoption's a beautiful thing, of course, and it's helped us feel complete as a family. I'll be interested to hear of your adventures if you decide to go that route.

God bless.

Muche said...

So sorry to read this like that, that baby thing can really suck for some of us! Hang in there girl! Love ya,
Murielle (fertility/adoption/prayers/crying/waiting...done it all :)

Jill said...

Oh dang Mandy. That sucks! I'm so sorry. It brings tears to my eyes to think of the pain you are experiencing. I know it all too well too. It just plain sucks. I've done it all. Clomid, IUI 5 times, herbal remedies,accupuncture, IVF, surrogacy...nothing worked. I believe that God is absolutely in control. It still hurts not to have the desire of your heart though. I'm excited to see what continues to happen with you guys. Like you said, you've seen adoption first hand with Katy and it truly is a miracle. I never thought my children would come through adoption and now I can't imagine it any different. We're thinking of putting our papers in again for the third and final time. It's a rollercoaster too...but Heavenly Father will guide you and whatever route your baby is supposed to come to you, it will happen when it's right. Good luck sister!! Love ya tons. I'm so so sorry. If you ever need to talk, I'm here!!

Amber said...

These are such difficult trials to have. Sorry about the outcome, Mandy. My prayers are with you...
Amber

Bree said...

Thinking about you and so sad for you. You brought back a lot of "emotional" memories for me, but you are surrounded by people who understand, have been through it, and love you! I hope you and Blake find the answer for your family.

Ryan N Cox said...

I'm so sorry Mandy, my heart breaks for you guys. Thanks for sharing this, can't imagine what it's been like. Thinking of you and Blake (and Joves) during this hard time.
My best friend adopted her son. It's hard to even formulate the words that describe how much he means to us, how much we all love him and how he's been given a second chance at life because two people believed they could. It's miraculous to me.
No matter what course you take, I love you tons!! Xoxo